I am a Lucky Motherfucker

I mentioned in my previous post that I was doing some contract work in Florida in an attempt to keep my payor sources diversified. I also mentioned that there was still somewhat of an unknown about what insurance would pay. Well....it's not looking so hot for me. They way the new system is set up penalizes my work style. I work quickly and efficiently and they want start and stop times for everything. That means that I get paid less than some dumbass who it takes twice as long to do the same work. Thanks, insurance!

So that has taken even more of the glow off that work. In the meantime, in a very much out of the blue fashion, my in-state contract gave everyone a HUGE raise. How huge? Um, 100%. It's a 100% raise. My former government job and their 2% cost of living increase can SUCK IT! Hells yeah. Legit, I am probably the luckiest person I know. I was once described as catching angels as they fall.

As a part of this shift, apparently they are also clearing out quite a bit of backlogged work, so my work load has also dramatically increased. I think this will just be for 2-3 months, but who knows? I am thrilled either way. This is a major improvement to my life. I actually will hit my financial goals I set this year because of this raise, it's nuts. I have had nothing but record months since this kicked in.

About two weeks after this happened, while I was in a facility working, my car got hit in the parking lot. The license plate number could not be identified from the security footage. I filed the claim with my insurance. My car was drivable, I managed to drive it home that day. It's a 2013. Because they didn't find the guy who hit me, it was covered with the uninsured motorist deductible. They cut me a check to get it fixed, which I have not done. I probably won't do it, honestly. I am just driving with greater impunity now that my car has body damage. Although I was pretty pissed about the extra hour of paperwork to get the police report, all in all, this came out okay.

When I was out of town after that, I got a text that my crazy dog had almost completely chewed through a wooden dog gate. I got this text complete with a picture of the gate covered in blood and repeated assurances she was okay. This is out of character for her. Hold that in the back of your mind. About a week before this, she had developed panic attacks in response to thunder storms. I've had this dog over 5 years and never an issue with that. Now all this.

About a week after that, I got back from my out of state contract, and decide to walk the furry one around a lake we hadn't been to before. The trail isn't a finished loop, so it's kind of an out and back. We make it out, turn around to come back. One of the Canada geese on the lake FUCKING ATTACKS. No joke. It was huge and it meant business. It flew and hit the dog full on. She had no idea what was going on - why would a dog have a frame of reference for a goose attack? She kinda tried to get away but honestly didn't seem that upset. (WHERE IS YOUR CHEWING THROUGH THINGS NOW??? GET IT!!!) I had her leash on my right wrist, so I step in and back hand this goose about two times. With my bad arm, the left one. Oh yes, I tore that rotator cuff a few months ago. Anywho, this gets the goose off the dog, although it then keeps flapping and hissing at us and I have to psych that mother fucker out until we can get away. If anyone had happened to be filming this incident, I am sure it is nothing short of HILARIOUS. I couldn't have made this shit up.

Thank god I didn't have my gun on me when I was attacked. I may have used lethal force. Last thing I need is a federal case for shooting a protected species or something. 


I check the dog and she is apparently uninjured. But in the meantime, I had scheduled the crazy dog a vet visit for her apparent new onset of neuroticism (i.e., the thunder panic and gate aggression). I took her to that, had blood work to check for causes. $200 please. Came back fine, she's (relatively) okay. (Still crazy.)

Anywho, so my left shoulder hurts like a SOB. I call and set up an appointment with ortho because I'm concerned I may have finished tearing it. Again, vaguely irritated by the hassle. (I now also have to take Layla on another walk later because we didn't finish that one.) I wake up the next morning...my shoulder feels like 60% better than it did before. I'm convinced that my wild flailing released a nerve impingement or something, because I swear to gawd, it's like, almost fixed. I'm actually thinking of cancelling my appointment with the ortho to save the money. Still on the fence on that one.

THEN (no, I'm not done yet), my garbage disposal, which had went out after the car got hit but before the goose attack, got fixed by my friend for free. I helped him out with some things, and he paid me back by stopping by and fixing it while I was having the goose attack, actually. I needed him to do it when the dog wasn't there preferably, since she's crazy, so that was an odd coincidence.

I also got a call that day that the basement crew was coming by to my house to uphold their warranty repair thing. My basement had some river-running-through-it issues in heavy rain, which I had them fix previously and they did significantly remediate, but not entirely. They also stopped by while I was gone with the dog. Couldn't have worked out better.

That night, I took a surprisingly lukewarm shower. I think maybe the basement guys bumped my water heater; not sure. But it was definitely off. Regardless, I went down and fired it back up. The pilot light lit without difficulty. I thought it was dead, but it resurrected. An Easter-season miracle! I feel like there's a metaphor there...

After all this it occurred to me I had like 10 emergencies happen without batting an eyelash. In fact, despite the repeated emergencies, I came out of several better than I had went into them. What a crazy couple weeks.

I feel like if this had been before, when I hated my day job, everything would have been a catastrophe, I wouldn't have been able to make everything come out to my liking nearly as well, and I probably would have ended up sitting on my floor crying several times. But right now, I am fine. I am one lucky motherfucker. I'm sure y'all out there have some stories about something that seemed terrible that turned out okay. Feel free to share!

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